Waiting

Another one! Yay!

 Waiting…
How long must I wait?
Waiting for you.
I have been so scared.
Waiting for you.

I don’t know how much longer.
I must wait for you.
I am beginning to fail.
Waiting for you. 

I glare at temptations
Not sure how to stop them.
I am waiting for your response.
How to stop them all.

I wait for your reply
On so many things
Why don’t you answer?
Or am I just not hearing.

Who else will help?
Nobody but you can
I have been set free
Like nobody else can.
Waiting for you.

I fall down a hole
Waiting for you
I don’t know if I will be caught
Or If I will fall forever…
I am waiting for you.

Stop my waiting 

With God

Another Poem

I am worth more then this.
I thought I had to hide it all.
I can’t believe its not enough. 
This is where the healing starts.

With God.

I can let my secrets out.
I’m not scared to face my fears.
There is freedom waiting for me.
I’m here now.

With God.

He doesn’t care what I did.
He can shed light on me.
He covered all my sins with his blood.
I don’t have to hide.

From God.

He gives us all we need.
I don’t have to look.
I don’t have to change.
Just to please him.

With God.

He is strong enough to save me.
He doesn’t struggle.
I am lifted by his grace.
He will break the sky.

He is God.

He can do anything
No matter what you say
This world can bring you down
But he can lift us above it.

He is God.

He has mercy
He has compassion 
He loves
More then anybody
He is God.

He wipes my tears away
He lifts my chin
He helps me stand
He thinks I am more then anything.

He is God.

I am more then anything
More then all my choices
More then all problems I cause
More then the past mistakes.

Because God Loves Me. 

Life's Sap

This is my first poem... ever!

Life's Sap


I grit my teeth,
fearing what is to follow.
I stroke its shiny steel, 
I stare at the knife.
No longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

I run it along, my scared arm, 
Its razor blade, familiar on my skin.
I pushed down hard, 
I winced in pain.
No longer shall you,
suck my life’s sap.

My eyes grow wide, 
it hurt so much, 
I twisted the blade,
hoping for more.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap. 

I dropped the blade,
It clattered so loud, 
The sound rang in my ears.
Like a death bell.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

No more! I scream. 
I covered my arm.
Tears wet my face,
and I stung my eyes.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

I cried that night,
Wanting it to end.
Then I looked up,
At the starlit sky.
No more shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

Hope gleamed in my eye, 
I bent down low, 
To the creator of all, 
Who was there for me.
No longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

I cried out to God,
He heard me too, 
I cried for mercy, 
From this harsh world.
But no longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

Blood ran down my arm, 
The red trail left scarlet marks.
They covered my arms, 
Like spider webs.
No longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

I hand lifted my head,
I looked up at my rescuer, 
All I saw was pure light, 
The light of God.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s breath.

I cried out for joy, 
I was loved by somebody.
Tears of joy steamed down my face, 
I am saved.
No longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

Saved from the darkness of Satan’s hell
Saved from a life of pain and hate.
God lifted my chin, 
In times of need. 
No longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s breath.

I glared at my knife, 
I hurled it away, 
Curse you, I called
And stood up with the Lord.
No long shall you, suck my life’s sap. 

Lions, Tigers and Bears! Oh my!

Well, I think that the title can explain it all, what are the things that scare you? Think about it, not just the things like spiders, the dark, olives. Think about the things that deep down inside, you can't help but worry about. Those are the things that God can help you with. I'm not saying that God will come down from heaven and had you a wad of bills to help you pay your bills, but I AM saying that he can help.
I can prove it.

One day, I was doing tech at our local church, we were having problems paying the bills and my Dad had been out of a job for 2 years. I was just leaving the church and a lady I had never seen in my life, came up to me and handed me a letter. On the letter, written in red marker, was the words "He knows" The lady told me to give it to my mother. I was a little startled but shoved it into my pocket. When I got home, I gave it to my mom and inside, was $200 for food. It was a miracle. Also, later that week, a different lady came by from the church and dropped of a huge basket of food and snacks. Along with a food donation from the thrift store, we were set for about a month.

I'm not saying that this will happen to everybody, but this just proves that God is up there, watching and in times of trouble, he cares for you, even when you might not care for him. He knows about all those times that you thought you could never get through, and yet, here you are.

Texting

Well, I do have to admit something, I agree that I spend to much time texting my friends. They are fun to talk to but sometimes my cell takes over my life. For example, I was so down when I found out that the new place we are moving to in a week has absolutely no cell phone service. I know that can be a little bit of a problem but for some reason it kept me up at night. Then I realized, I'm more worried about my cell service then I am spending time with God. I mean, sometimes I wish I could just txt God, and he would reply back with an answer that would make you feel better, or help you through a hard time.  When I was away at Gardom Lake retreat a couple weeks ago, we wrote down all the things that we are putting before God. I wrote things like,
-How I look.
-What my test score will be.
-Will that person like me?
-Cell Phone
-Computer
-Clothes
-School
-Friends
-_________
Think about what I just wrote out. I left a blank one for you. What are you putting ahead of God? Well, we took the paper to the fireplace and burned them all. For some reason, ever since then, I have been spending less and less time looking in the mirror, texting, going on the computer, worrying about my schoolwork and stuff like that. God has become more and more important to me and his role in my life has become practically most of it. There are still things I struggle with but not nearly as much as before. I pray to God more often but not as much as I would like. But I'm getting better, Thank God.

What a Hectic Life!

Alrighty, its Wednesday, the crazyest day of the week, its filled with Piano, Violin, orchestra,  speed-skating, youth, all that kind of stuff.  Now, have you ever come to think, on one of your busy days, where does God fit in here?  I know I don't.  When I'm at Orchestra, or Speed Skating, I'm thinking about myself and how I can do better and how to improve me.  God can help me win the 1500 meter race, and he can help me hit that high C.  Right now, I'm sitting in our living room, looking at the just rising sun, sometimes you miss this kind of stuff because your too busy with your life! Its not bad to have a busy and interesting life, but you always need to spend more time with God. I know I don't. I wrote this poem about being busy, It's not very good but I think it gets the point across.

Spending time with God,
its a magical thing,
Pray to him every day,
I know I don't.

God loves you so,
He will die for you,
and for your sins,
I know I wouldn't.

God is there for you,
even when I did something wrong,
He loves me no matter what,
I know I wouldn't.

God will protect you,
no matter the danger,
he will fight for you,
I know I don't.

God want me,
more then anything,
he wants my life,
he treasures my soul,
he calls my name,
every time I fall,
he helps me up,
I know I should.

he feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else- we are the busiest people in the world.

- Eric Hoffer

Friends

I have many, great, wonderful friends... They are all so different, but so the same. I have no idea were I would be without my wide selection of friends.  I would probably be sitting alone with my trust computer and god.  That would give be more time with God. But I would get so bored, and depressed, that life would be not worth it. Now, friends aren’t only the people who help you through hard times, or tell you how you look in a dress, they can be our dog, a garden, a place, or God.  God can be your friend, father, brother, sister, mother, and any other person you need him to be.

If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it.  But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.  ~Alice Duer Miller
If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.  ~Author Unknown

.... Click....

here is a faint clicking sound coming from the office door, it is me, franticly typing out the beginning of my new story.  I have gotten back into the swing of things, writing my story, I have written chapter 13 or my other story and I’m going to post it soon.

A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare.  For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure.  ~Henry David Thoreau

Where Have all the Good Writers Gone?

 I turn the page of my current novel I’m reading.  It’s an okay book but there isn’t many good books out right now. I’m thinking to myself, “where have all the good writers gone?”  There doesn’t seem to be any good fiction writers around right now. But in a month or so, a wave of really good books will come out and I won’t have time to read them all.  I’m waiting for a certain book right now. It’s the forth book in the Inheritance Cycle.  I have read Eragon, Eldest, and Brisinger. The first one was the best and Eldest was a little on the slow side and Brisinger, too many politics. I don’t want to be a spoiler so I’m not going to say any more. All I have to say is that they are amazing books with an amazing plot.  The book should come out around september next year. That seems like forever!!

There are books so alive that you're always afraid that while you weren't reading, the book has gone and changed, has shifted like a river; while you went on living, it went on living too, and like a river moved on and moved away.  No one has stepped twice into the same river.  But did anyone ever step twice into the same book?  ~Marina Tsvetaeva

Kids of the LORD

“It’s my Turn!’ A kid yells at me during games time and she jumps up and down. Right now I’m an youth leader at a youth program called “Awana”.  This is a place were kids from kindergarden to grade 8 can come and learn, serving the Lord and having fun while doing it.    When I go to Awana to help out as a youth leader for the kindergardeners, they love it when I tell them stories about God.
When the kids are sitting on their line, singing to god and dancing in joy, my heart is happy.  Even though the kids can be a real pain, I still love them.

Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it:  little men already.  ~Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688

Music for the LORD

Usually, when I’m on my way to Orchestra practise, I think, “oh, great. Boring”  but today was different. I looked at the door of the music room and thought to myself , “ music is a good thing” So, I played my violin for the Lord and actually enjoyed it! Music is really the kind of thing that you have to like.  No matter what genre it is.  Music has been part of my life since I was 9, when I started my violin, five years later here I am, still playing away, I love it more then ever and I’m beginning to play for churches, old people and the Salvation Army.  Music can do a lot of things, it can make you feel inspired, happy, sad, angry, or passionate.
The melody of some songs makes me dance around in my room or cry at the piano.  I think of the song, “Teardrops on my Guitar” and I think that teardrops of my piano is more my story.

There is in souls a sympathy with sounds: And as if the mid is pitch’d the ear is pleased with melting airs, or martial, brisk or gave; Some chord in unison with what we hear Is touch’d within us, and the heart replies.
~William Cowper

Singing For the LORD

 When I sit back in the techie booth at our church and see kids praising the Lord, it makes so cheerful. When kids lift up their arms in God’s praise, It makes me feel like there is hope. When the storms are raging outside and inside there are children singing and dancing, the storm just seems to add to the worship.  I love it when the kids get really involved in their praise.
Sometimes, I’ll even get up myself and start singing and doing the actions just for God’s praise.

The Gods we worship write their names on our faces; be sure of that. A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being Thankful

Today was a great day of learning about being thankful for friends. We are having a garage sale next week and had a lot of things to do. We would have never got it done. So I decided to pray for the matter. This morning, we got a call from our good friends, the Brauns. They wanted to come over and help us with the sale! My prayers were answered! And to put a cherry on top, they brought us a thanksgiving dinner.  Having friends is such a wonderful thing.. They helped us do in a couple of hours, that would have taken at least a week.  I am so thankful that God brought us great friends.  Without them, I don’t know where we would be right now. Thanks So Much Brauns!

You say grace before meals. All right.  But I say Grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and the pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, walking, running and Grace before I dip my pen in Ink. ~ G.K Chesterson

My First Blog

This Morning when I got up, I looked out the window to see dark clouds and rainy skies.  Usually I would look at this as a down cast day and being stuck inside all day. But this morning, I looked at the sky and though how nice it would be to curl up on the couch in front of the window with a cup of hot chocolate and some whipped cream with a good book.

I can tell fall is in the air because all the bears are eating the apples in our orchard and the leaves are falling off the trees. I’m sad that summer is coming to an end but I’m excited for sled rides and ice skating on the lake.