Waiting

Another one! Yay!

 Waiting…
How long must I wait?
Waiting for you.
I have been so scared.
Waiting for you.

I don’t know how much longer.
I must wait for you.
I am beginning to fail.
Waiting for you. 

I glare at temptations
Not sure how to stop them.
I am waiting for your response.
How to stop them all.

I wait for your reply
On so many things
Why don’t you answer?
Or am I just not hearing.

Who else will help?
Nobody but you can
I have been set free
Like nobody else can.
Waiting for you.

I fall down a hole
Waiting for you
I don’t know if I will be caught
Or If I will fall forever…
I am waiting for you.

Stop my waiting 

With God

Another Poem

I am worth more then this.
I thought I had to hide it all.
I can’t believe its not enough. 
This is where the healing starts.

With God.

I can let my secrets out.
I’m not scared to face my fears.
There is freedom waiting for me.
I’m here now.

With God.

He doesn’t care what I did.
He can shed light on me.
He covered all my sins with his blood.
I don’t have to hide.

From God.

He gives us all we need.
I don’t have to look.
I don’t have to change.
Just to please him.

With God.

He is strong enough to save me.
He doesn’t struggle.
I am lifted by his grace.
He will break the sky.

He is God.

He can do anything
No matter what you say
This world can bring you down
But he can lift us above it.

He is God.

He has mercy
He has compassion 
He loves
More then anybody
He is God.

He wipes my tears away
He lifts my chin
He helps me stand
He thinks I am more then anything.

He is God.

I am more then anything
More then all my choices
More then all problems I cause
More then the past mistakes.

Because God Loves Me. 

Life's Sap

This is my first poem... ever!

Life's Sap


I grit my teeth,
fearing what is to follow.
I stroke its shiny steel, 
I stare at the knife.
No longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

I run it along, my scared arm, 
Its razor blade, familiar on my skin.
I pushed down hard, 
I winced in pain.
No longer shall you,
suck my life’s sap.

My eyes grow wide, 
it hurt so much, 
I twisted the blade,
hoping for more.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap. 

I dropped the blade,
It clattered so loud, 
The sound rang in my ears.
Like a death bell.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

No more! I scream. 
I covered my arm.
Tears wet my face,
and I stung my eyes.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

I cried that night,
Wanting it to end.
Then I looked up,
At the starlit sky.
No more shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

Hope gleamed in my eye, 
I bent down low, 
To the creator of all, 
Who was there for me.
No longer shall you, 
suck my life’s sap.

I cried out to God,
He heard me too, 
I cried for mercy, 
From this harsh world.
But no longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

Blood ran down my arm, 
The red trail left scarlet marks.
They covered my arms, 
Like spider webs.
No longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

I hand lifted my head,
I looked up at my rescuer, 
All I saw was pure light, 
The light of God.
But no longer shall you, 
suck my life’s breath.

I cried out for joy, 
I was loved by somebody.
Tears of joy steamed down my face, 
I am saved.
No longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s sap.

Saved from the darkness of Satan’s hell
Saved from a life of pain and hate.
God lifted my chin, 
In times of need. 
No longer shall you, 
Suck my life’s breath.

I glared at my knife, 
I hurled it away, 
Curse you, I called
And stood up with the Lord.
No long shall you, suck my life’s sap. 

Lions, Tigers and Bears! Oh my!

Well, I think that the title can explain it all, what are the things that scare you? Think about it, not just the things like spiders, the dark, olives. Think about the things that deep down inside, you can't help but worry about. Those are the things that God can help you with. I'm not saying that God will come down from heaven and had you a wad of bills to help you pay your bills, but I AM saying that he can help.
I can prove it.

One day, I was doing tech at our local church, we were having problems paying the bills and my Dad had been out of a job for 2 years. I was just leaving the church and a lady I had never seen in my life, came up to me and handed me a letter. On the letter, written in red marker, was the words "He knows" The lady told me to give it to my mother. I was a little startled but shoved it into my pocket. When I got home, I gave it to my mom and inside, was $200 for food. It was a miracle. Also, later that week, a different lady came by from the church and dropped of a huge basket of food and snacks. Along with a food donation from the thrift store, we were set for about a month.

I'm not saying that this will happen to everybody, but this just proves that God is up there, watching and in times of trouble, he cares for you, even when you might not care for him. He knows about all those times that you thought you could never get through, and yet, here you are.

Texting

Well, I do have to admit something, I agree that I spend to much time texting my friends. They are fun to talk to but sometimes my cell takes over my life. For example, I was so down when I found out that the new place we are moving to in a week has absolutely no cell phone service. I know that can be a little bit of a problem but for some reason it kept me up at night. Then I realized, I'm more worried about my cell service then I am spending time with God. I mean, sometimes I wish I could just txt God, and he would reply back with an answer that would make you feel better, or help you through a hard time.  When I was away at Gardom Lake retreat a couple weeks ago, we wrote down all the things that we are putting before God. I wrote things like,
-How I look.
-What my test score will be.
-Will that person like me?
-Cell Phone
-Computer
-Clothes
-School
-Friends
-_________
Think about what I just wrote out. I left a blank one for you. What are you putting ahead of God? Well, we took the paper to the fireplace and burned them all. For some reason, ever since then, I have been spending less and less time looking in the mirror, texting, going on the computer, worrying about my schoolwork and stuff like that. God has become more and more important to me and his role in my life has become practically most of it. There are still things I struggle with but not nearly as much as before. I pray to God more often but not as much as I would like. But I'm getting better, Thank God.

What a Hectic Life!

Alrighty, its Wednesday, the crazyest day of the week, its filled with Piano, Violin, orchestra,  speed-skating, youth, all that kind of stuff.  Now, have you ever come to think, on one of your busy days, where does God fit in here?  I know I don't.  When I'm at Orchestra, or Speed Skating, I'm thinking about myself and how I can do better and how to improve me.  God can help me win the 1500 meter race, and he can help me hit that high C.  Right now, I'm sitting in our living room, looking at the just rising sun, sometimes you miss this kind of stuff because your too busy with your life! Its not bad to have a busy and interesting life, but you always need to spend more time with God. I know I don't. I wrote this poem about being busy, It's not very good but I think it gets the point across.

Spending time with God,
its a magical thing,
Pray to him every day,
I know I don't.

God loves you so,
He will die for you,
and for your sins,
I know I wouldn't.

God is there for you,
even when I did something wrong,
He loves me no matter what,
I know I wouldn't.

God will protect you,
no matter the danger,
he will fight for you,
I know I don't.

God want me,
more then anything,
he wants my life,
he treasures my soul,
he calls my name,
every time I fall,
he helps me up,
I know I should.

he feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else- we are the busiest people in the world.

- Eric Hoffer

Friends

I have many, great, wonderful friends... They are all so different, but so the same. I have no idea were I would be without my wide selection of friends.  I would probably be sitting alone with my trust computer and god.  That would give be more time with God. But I would get so bored, and depressed, that life would be not worth it. Now, friends aren’t only the people who help you through hard times, or tell you how you look in a dress, they can be our dog, a garden, a place, or God.  God can be your friend, father, brother, sister, mother, and any other person you need him to be.

If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it.  But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.  ~Alice Duer Miller
If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.  ~Author Unknown